Then Moses said to the LORD,
"Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past,
nor since You have spoken to Your servant;
for I am slow of speech
and slow of tongue."
Exodus 4:10
Moses is making one excuse after another. He is trying his best to get out of going back to Egypt. Fear and insecurities have this grown man shaking in his bare feet. He doesn't even have an accurate picture of himself. Moses, at this point, has no clue who he is or who God has created him to be.
In Acts 7:22 we learn that "Moses was educated in all the learning of the Egyptians, and he was a man of power in words and deeds." God had been preparing Moses for this moment since the day he was brought forth from his mother's womb, but Moses is so gripped by his insecurities that he cannot see it.
God has continued to be patient with Moses, for He "knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust." (Psalm 103:14). However, I imagine that when God heard these excuses come out of Moses' mouth He placed His hand on His brow and slowly shook His head as if to say "Come on, son. Have you been paying attention at all? Did I not just do these signs, wonders, and miracles before you? Did I not just tell you that 'certainly I will be with you' (Exodus 3:12)?"
God reminds Moses that He is the one who makes all mouths speak and He is the one who makes mute, deaf, seeing, or blind. God reminds Moses once again that He would be with him, that God Himself would teach him what he was to say. Yet, Moses still is paralyzed by his fear. Moses pleads with God to send someone else. At this God grows angry.
Can we blame God for getting a little upset at this point? I don't think so. God has called Moses out and spoke to him from a burning bush. He has given Moses His memorial name. He has performed signs and wonders in front of him. He has promised more than once that He would be with him, and yet still Moses doubts. Still Moses wants to shrink back from his call. Oh precious one, are you shrinking back from God's call on your life?
Do you know my friend that "the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable" (Romans 11:29)? Do you know that God's choice will stand not because of our works but simply because it is He who calls (Romans 9:11)? Do you have an accurate picture of yourself?
Are you looking through the rear view mirror, and being held back by your past? Are you looking through the worldview mirror, trying to decide who you should be and what you should do with your life according to the news headlines and latest articles? Or are you looking through the God's view mirror?
"But we all, with unveiled face,
beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord,
are being transformed into the same image
from glory to glory,
just as from the Lord, the Spirit."
2 Corinthians 3:18
My friend if you want an accurate picture of yourself, then discover who you are in and through God's Word. You will first discover that you do not know God at all. You will then discover that you do not know Him because you are a sinner and your sins have separated you from Him. You will discover that although you are separated, God has sought you and He desires for you to be reconciled to Him. You will also discover that Jesus Christ is the only way to be reconciled to God (Romans 5:11).
You will discover that it is by faith that you die with Christ and then you are raised into a new life. A life that can take hold of every promise of God. A life that now is being conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29), and this image my friend, is the accurate picture of yourself.
This new life is sealed, filled, and willed by the Holy Spirit. It is clothed with power from on high (Luke 24:49) and this power, His power, works mightily within you (Colossians 1:29).
Oh Father,
Help me to have an accurate picture of myself. Help me to understand who I am in You. I do not want to be one who shrinks back from Your calling on my life. I do not want to be paralyzed by my fears and insecurities. I desire to walk in obedience to Your call in confidence, clothed with power from on high with Your Holy Spirit. Oh Father, may the words of others not discourage me. Even if they mock me and doubt You, may I still stand firm and persevere. Do a mighty work in and through me, my God and my Lord.
My Jesus it is in Your name I pray,
Amen
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