Not Who I Was

But Moses said before the LORD,

'Behold, I am unskilled in speech;

how then will Pharaoh listen to me?  

Exodus 6:30

Moses has already made the complaint out to God that he was "slow of speech" (Exodus 4:10), and now he cries to God that he is "unskilled in speech." The word unskilled in the original Hebrew text is arel which means exposed or uncircumcised. Moses is actually saying "Behold, I am uncircumcised of lips;..."

This is essentially the same cry that the Prophet Isaiah made in Isaiah 6:5 when he said "Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips..." Moses is not crying out to God in doubt of his ability, he is crying out to God in realization of his unworthiness to be God's messenger.

Moses is looking at himself. He is looking at the children of Israel. He is looking at Pharaoh and he is crying out to God. I can hear Moses saying "God, they know me. They have seen all that I have done. They know I murdered a man. They know all the sins of my youth. They have seen all the mistakes I have made and God I know all the mistakes I am still making. I am uncircumcised of lips. I am a man of unclean lips. God I have said things I should not have said. I have wounded with my words as well as my hands. The children of Israel will not listen to me why would Pharaoh. He knows even more about me than they do. He shall call me a hypocrite, a traitor. I am a fool in his eyes. God, he will not listen to me."

Oh precious one, have you been there?

Moses is so real with God. He is so obviously just a man like you and I. He is not a superhuman. He is a man who was living a life apart from God but now has been brought near to God to accomplish a mighty mission for the kingdom of heaven. Part of that mission is to return to where he came and show them that he is not who he once was.

He now looks different, walks different, and talks different. Moses may look at himself and see a man of no worth, but once again God does not even acknowledge his cry of insecurity. God simply reminds him of his mission.

We can not allow who we were to hinder who we are now called to be. It doesn't matter who we were. "Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God." (1 Corinthians 6:11)

Yes, you may have to prove yourself, but if your salvation is real, the proof will be made evident. Even Paul had to prove himself. We read in Acts 9:26 that "When he came to Jerusalem, he was trying to associate with the disciples; but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he was a disciple." Our past goes with us, but it does not control us, nor does it define us when we are new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Moses would go and be obedient to God. He would not have to worry about whether Pharaoh would listen to him. Pharaoh's response was between Pharaoh and God. We too must go and be obedient to God. He has a mission for us just as he did for Moses. A mighty mission to accomplish for the kingdom of heaven, for the glory of our God.

My friend, do not allow what lies behind you to slow you down or cause you to shrink back from what your God has commanded you to do. Forget what lies behind and press forward to what lies ahead. Remembering always who you are in Him.

Has the burning coal from the altar of our God touched your lips and taken your iniquity away? Have your sins been forgiven (Isaiah 6:6-7)? If so, precious one, then speak. Speak all that the Lord has commanded you to speak. Speak with authority and love and confidence and leave the results up to God.

Oh Father,

I look at who I once was and all that I have done and the enemy can so easily convince me that I have no right to speak on Your behalf. The truth, however, is that it gives me every right. I am a living testimony to Your Word. I am living proof that You are God. Comparing who I was to who I am now only strengthens my testimony and greater displays Your grace. Yes I may have to prove myself to some, but that is okay with me. Father I just pray that You would set a guard over my mouth and keep watch over the door of my lips (Psalm 141:3) so that my relationship with You would be made evident and obvious to all.

My Jesus, it's in Your name I pray,

Amen